Top 10 Movie/TV One-Liners for Nov. '09

Here are 10 funny one-liners I pulled from memory. Do you have any to add to the list?

10. I'm not superstitious......I'm just a little stitious. ~ Michael Scott (The Office)
9. I've been in my dirty pee pants all day long. ~ Son of Ricky Bobby (Talladega Nights)
8. Brothers don't shake hands....brothers gotta hug. ~ Tommy (Tommy Boy)
7. Hey Bucko! That doesn't smell like mud. ~ Paul (Tommy Boy)
6. I'm always thinking one step ahead....like a carpenter......who builds stairs ~ Andy Bernard (The Office)
5. Maybe the dingo ate your baby! ~ Elaine (Seinfeld)
4. Stop looking at me swan! ~ Billy (Billy Madison)
3. What has 2 thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso (while pointing to self with both thumbs). ~ Kelso (Scrubs)
2. Reality isn't father knows best anymore. It's a kick to the face on a Saturday night with a steel-toed Kodiak workbook.......A trip to the hospital, bloodied and bashed.......Reconstructive surgery. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, am I right? ~ Chip (The Cable Guy)

AND YOUR #1 ONE-LINER IS...........

1. From 1 to Chris Brown, how angry was she? ~ Tom (Parks and Recreation)

Again people, let's hear what you got. What one-liners pop into your head? (Please don't include one-liners with bad language or innuendos).

Inspiration in Kansas.....Who Would've Guessed?

I just returned from a wedding in Wichita, Kansas. What a wonderful experience! Watching two people start their lives together.....just awesome, right? Well, that was pretty cool too, but the wedding in itself was not the reason I had such a great time. It was something else.

You know...when I met my wife, I had no idea the blessings the Lord had in store for me. I mean, I felt blessed to have the family I was born into, but I had no idea that I would marry into one equally as great. First, he blesses me with an amazing wife, so you can imagine my surprise when I discover what wonderful mother and father-in-law I inherited. So, I'm thinking, "Wow. This is awesome, but the greatness has to stop somewhere, right? Her family has got to be whack jobs or something." I was wrong. The blessing of family continued and still does to this day.

So, why did I enjoy the wedding so much you might ask? Because of all the wonderful people in my wife's family that were all brought together. So much joy emanates from this family one can't help but to feel the love. The genuineness, honesty, and humility of this family is so attractive that saying goodbye seems to be a tedious and draining task. Think about it. When we are attracted to something, we are are drawn to it. It actually takes effort to break away. I can't think of how many necks I hugged and goodbyes were exchanged today. And I'm sure that I doubled up on more than one person. Again, it is tiring saying goodbye to something so great.

So now I find myself at home feeling sad.....but the good kind of sad. The kind of sad that helps you remember that there are still things in this world that are good and pure. That there are people that love with the love of the Lord.....and they are looking forward to reuniting with you as much as you with them. In addition to my sadness, I feel inspired. God gave me exactly what I needed this weekend. Being with my wife's family inspires me to be a better person....a better Christian. It's not that I feel like I have distanced myself from God. But, we all have room to grow. I was definitely nourished this weekend. I thank God for the continuous blessings reigned down on me through marriage that began almost 10 yrs ago when I saw a beautiful 18 yr old girl sitting across from me at a college devotional. Her name was Amanda and she would soon become my wife.

Be Still and Know

I have a short story to tell about an experience I had at my son's daycare. I showed up around noon to my son's daycare to document my son's very first Easter egg hunt. I was about 30 minutes early, so I just stood around and watched the kids play to kill time. My attention had turned to my son's play (as it often does), when I heard "Hey!" I turned my head toward the voice when I saw a 4 yr old boy staring intently at me. He then proceeded to say, "What are you looking at?" Trying my best NOT to say mockingly "What are you looking at?", I simply said, "My son." He said, "Oh," and continued on with what he was doing. A few minutes later, I hear, once again, "Hey." When I turned toward the familair voice, I saw the same little boy, once again, staring intently at me. Once he knew he had my attention, he asked in his best bad cop voice, "Are you looking at your son again?" Chuckling, I said, "Yes. Yes I am." He then ran over to my son and began to play with him. After a moment or two, my son looked up at this youngin and relayed to him a brief baby-talk monologue. This young boy looked up at me with a confused look and I said, "He's been talking more and more lately." Then this boy said to me, "Yeah, but I can't understand a single word he says."

A few minutes later, I sat down at a table and this little boy decided to engage me in conversation. I'm not sure how we got on the subject, but I found myself explaining to this young inquisitive soul that my son goes by his middle name because he and I share a first name. The little boy cuts his eyes up and to the right. I could just see the wheels turning as I anticipated his response. Just when I thought he couldn't surprise me again, he asked me this ingenious question: Why did your mom name you the same name as your son? Interestingly enough, I could NOT come up with a decent answer. Therefore, I simply stated while half laughing, "That is a good question." That answer seemed to suffice for this small child.

I love this story because it reminds me of how sweet, pure, and innocent children are. It helps me realize what Jesus was talking about when he said that we must become like children in order to enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:13-15). I think we often get caught up in this busy life that we often ignore or get annoyed when we have experiences like this one. We need to work hard to take the time to be still and listen when we encounter a small child......... God just might be speaking to us through them.

Buying a House.....A Spiritual Journey

Well, it has been a while since I have written on my blog, but I have good reason for that. My wife and I recently sold our house in Stillwater and have successfully relocated in the metro area. The images are just for viewing pleasure to illustrate how God has blessed me with an awesome wife and child aside from material possessions. This is the first time my wife and I had to sell a home in one city and buy a home in another. I look back on this experience and feel somewhat guilty, because God truly blessed me and my family in this process. I think Jesus would have told me on a daily basis for a month straight the words he uttered on a mountainside to crowds from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea and the region across the Jordan, as found in Mt. 6:30.......c'mon, say it with me, "Oh, you of little faith." In the moment, sometimes we can't help to stress. That is why we have to take a step back and look at what is going on. In the church, we often call this a retreat. A retreat doesn't have to be an activity-filled event scheduled by a minister that last for days and costs an arm and a leg. We can take daily retreats in the form of journaling, prayer, reading and reflection, and many others. And we can do it in the comfort of our own home.

As I reflect upon this experience, I can see how much God was working. I couldn't see it at the time because I was too consumed with helping God out....what a joke. I think it's kinda funny that He allowed me to think that I was the one actually taking care of things. I'm thankful God isn't emotionally reactive or we'd all be looking over our shoulder. So....while I was stressing out on the phone with realtors, bankers, handymen, and running errand after errand....God was busy working for me and my family. I've often caught myself saying that "everything just fell into place." I'm sorely mistaken. Things didn't just fall into place....God put things in place exactly where he wanted them to be.

He began by giving us a realtor that worked very hard to sell our home. While the home next door sat without any showings for months, our home showed the very first day on the market and 5 times total. We had an offer made on the house one day shy of 3 weeks. And better yet, the young man was a college student and wanted to close near the end of the semester, which gave us plenty of time to look for a home to buy. Later we found out that neither this college student nor his mother ever saw the home in person, but just looked at pictures on the web. And to put the cherry on top, we walked away with enough equity to put a nice, conservative down payment on our new home (note: we'd only lived in this house for almost 4.5 yrs). With the economy in the shape it is in right now, one can't ask for better results. God is so good.

So, my wife and I spent a weekend looking at homes in the metro area. God blessed us with another great realtor. I'm not sure, but I think our price range was way below than her normal clientele. But, she never said a word about it....she dug up several homes for us to go see and drove my wife and I and our 10 month old son (at that time) around all day on Saturday and half day on Sunday looking at homes. The 2nd house she showed us had just been on the market 5 days. She said it didn't appear to be what we were looking for (note: there was no pictures at all on the web), but since it was in the area, she thought we'd go take a look. We bought that house. (Click the link to see video from my wife's blog). And to make things better, they accepted our 1st offer. And to add the cherry on top, they agreed to close on the same day we were closing in Stillwater. God is so good.

Now comes the truck rental. I went with Budget, which I'd highly recommend. They were over $200 cheaper than U-Haul, and they gave us an extra day for FREE. We had about 7 men from our church show up on a cold Sunday afternoon to help us load. We closed in Stillwater on the following Monday morning with no problems whatsoever and then closed in the metro area that afternoon....again, flawless. We unloaded our truck in the dark, but knocked in out in a matter of a couple of hours because so many of our wonderful friends and family showed up to help. I even had a friend and his wife drive my truck down from Stillwater, with her finals coming up and a dissertation defense for him. God is so good.

I know this was a lengthy entry, but I really wanted to share this experience.....I even left some things out. My next/current spiritual journey?.....going into private practice. WooHoo! I'm excited and nervous, but am confident that I probably will try to help God out again. He'll let me amuse him for a while, then he will show me reality....that He is the one that is truly faithful. He's so good...to....me.

My Awkward "Office" Moment

I as many of you may already know, my wife and I are huge "Office" fans (technically it is "The Office"). When I think of this show, one word comes to mind - "awkward." I can't think of how many times I simply felt embarrassed FOR one (or more) of the characters in this show. And you can't help but to laugh to relieve the discomfort you are feeling. Sometimes you may feel so awkward that you have to shove aside your laughter and replace it with comments like, "Oh no he didn't." I can't think of how many times I have looked over at my wife after an extremely awkward scene to see her catatonic expression - eyes and mouth wide open with a hypnotic stare at the TV screen. That lasts about 3 seconds and then she transitions to a hard silent laughter that I can only describe as a convulsive-like state, almost as if she is choking on her laughter.....yes, she flails her arms and often slaps my knee or an object near by. So, as you can see, we truly enjoy this sitcom.

I am sure we've all had our awkward moments. In my world, these moments have become known as "Office" moments. Well, just the other day, I had one that topped the charts....at least in my opinion. I use my wife as a measuring stick as well and after I told her this story, she went into one of her convulsive-like states. So, at my own expense, I'd like to share my story with you.

After a glutton-filled weekend on the lake, I decided on Monday that I would hit the gym, and hit it hard. I decided that I would run on the treadmill for 60 minutes or 6 miles, whichever came first. So, I threw on my white T-shirt with a baseball print, my mesh shorts and Asics, and after lots of motivation and little stretching, I stepped on the treadmill and began my run. And to my surprize, I felt pretty good and before I knew it, I was walking my quarter mile cool down (for a total of 6.25 miles I might add). I guess my endorphins had kicked in or something, because I really didn't feel that tired after I stepped off the treadmill. Therefore, with my newfound energy and my white shirt drenched in sweat, I decided I'd go weigh and roam around the gym a little. After I had my fill of looking at all the weight machines and secretly wishing that I had a personal trainer to push me to actually use them, I gave up and headed to the locker rooms. Before I hit the showers, I made a detour to the bathroom.....sorry, but thinking of the shower made my bladder anxious. So, I went, I flushed and then I turned around and that's when I saw the evidence staring back at me in the mirror. I saw a little dark red dot on my shirt. I took a double take and my first thought was, "That weird, I didn't see that red stain when I put the shirt on. And it is directly over my left nipple. Huh, if someone saw that, they might actually think my nipple was bleeding." That's when the surrealism ended and I thought, "No way!" So there you go. Not only did I run until my nipple BLED THROUGH MY SHIRT! I also walked all around the gym for all to see....and you guessed, no one saved me. I thought everyone was checking out my beautifully formed pecs. Yeah....they weren't.

Anyways.....this reminded me of the The Office: Season 4's Race for the Cure episode where Andy chafed so badly that the blood was actually running down his shirt. I feel fortunate that I only looked like my nipple had redeye. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading my "Office" moment. I would love to hear/read about any "Office" moments you have had.....that is, if you are brave enough to tell it.

Saying Goodbye

One of the hardest things about going to college and graduate school is leaving behind family and ultimatley saying goodbye to friends you made while in school. This is obviously because one goes to school to accomplish a degree and then that person goes to wherever the Lord leads'em. As young college students, most of us don't think about the fact that we will ultimately say goodbye to the friends we make. At one point in our lives, my wife and I were actually turned off from making more friends because we were just so tired of saying goodbye. But, here we are again. In the span of 3 days, we said goodbye to two of our closest couple friends. Texas robbed us of Nic & Jen and Oregon reclaimed Kellie & Jordan. To add to that, in the next 2 or 3 months, my wife and I will be moving, leaving behind the rest of our Stillwater friends. We dread leaving these friends and church family we have come love so much, but on the same token we will only be 45 minutes away and we will also reunite with some beloved friends we left behind in Edmond 5 years ago, like Pam & David and Roger & Courtney. This is just a reminder to me that we are pilgrims here on this earth, not settlers. Our home is waiting for us in heaven, where I hope to see all those we have said goodbye to over the past 10 years. The neat thing about this is that we have friends for life all over the U.S. and beyond. We miss them and love them and hopefully we'll see them again before the Lord calls us home. Here's a list of some of our closest college friends that have moved out of Oklahoma over the past 10 years:

• April S. (Arizona).............................................. acquiring Ph.D.
• April & Clint (Germany)........................................missionaries
• Trey & Lauren (Texas) .................................operate a marina
• Nic & Jen (Texas) .......................................................therapists
• Chad & Jenny (New York) ..........................................unknown
• Matt & Kim (Missouri).................................................unknown
• Scott & Jill (Kansas)..........................................turf managment
• Tyler & Margot (Arizona).............................................therapist
• Josh & Amber (Washington)..............................acquiring Ph.D.
• Kellie & Jordan (Oregon)...............working/acquiring master's
• Matt & Jamie (Colorado)..........teacher/coach & photographer
• Shannon (Texas)..................................................acquiring Ph.D.

So, saying "goodbye" isn't easy and although we'd prefer all these people to come back to live near us, we at least know that we have a place to stay if we ever are visiting these areas. I guess you gotta look on the bright side of things.

The Rest of the Story

This entry is part 2 to my latest entry entitled "Prejudices...we all have'em." I hope you take the time to read that entry before moving on to this one....it might help this one make more sense.

So, reflecting on the title of my previous entry, I believe that we all have prejudices when it comes to people of different ethnic groups, and social class for that fact. However, I also believe that we are called to overcome as many of those prejudices as we possibly can as everyone - red, yellow, black, and white (so the song goes) - is made in the image of God (Gen. 1:27) and God desires that everyone be saved (1 Timothy 2:3-4). God truly sees us all as equals. One way that I believe is helpful in helping us discover and overcome our ignorance in relation this matter is by educating ourselves by hearing other's perspectives. My stepdad hit the nail on the head when he said he thinks it is crucial to our mental and spiritual growth that we force ourselves to listen to what others have to say, despite whether or not we think we'll agree. I couldn't agree more. College and graduate school provided me the means to expand my horizons. I've been blessed to hear so many different speakers and perspectives concerning all kinds of issues. But I understand that not all people have that luxury, but books, movies, and music are widely available to us all. I am going to use this entry to discuss 1 book, 1 movie, and 1 song that helped me gain a clearer picture of those who appear different than me at first glance.

I'll begin with the song. Garth Brook's "We Shall Be Free." What a wonderful song (...catchy beat too). Garth really nails it with this song. He pretty much hammers home the fact that even if we think we might be free, we're not....not until people quit judging and sentencing each other. The part of the song that always gives me chills is when Garth sings in perfect harmony these words: When there's only one race and that's mankind....We Shall Be Free. Do you ever think how silly and juvenile it is to judge someone by the color of their skin? To think one's better than another just because of what part of the world they come from? To make judgments in character based one's religious affiliation or the acts of one's ancestors? I kinda chuckle when I think about how primitive we are sometimes. The judging and sentencing is God's responsibility, not ours (Matthew 7:1). It shows tremendous lack of faith to take that responsibility as our own.

Next, I'll briefly discuss a book I recently read. This book is called "The Same Kind of Different as Me." The title itself causes one to step back and think. This is a true story about a wealthy art dealer and modern day slave and how they changed each other's lives. This book really encourages the reader to take a look at him/herself, even if s/he doesn't want to. You just can't help it. As I read about the art dealer's life, I reflected back on how I grew up and the beliefs that I had concerning other races, particularly African Americans and Native Americans, and how I was severely flawed in my thinking. The wealthy art dealer in this true story grew up hearing the N-word like it was just part of everyday vernacular. I understand that those were different times back then; but, even though that word may not have been as offensive as it is today, there still was this underlying negative connotation that screamed "you're beneath me." Meanwhile, the African American man, was a slave up until the late 60's early 70's if I have my facts straight. His story is flat out amazing. He is a survivor by all sense of the word. But, most people didn't care to see that part of his life. This book is neat because it also challenges your mind in the area of social class, because the art dealer was a millionaire and the modern day slave, after becoming fed up with plantation life, was homeless. This book really gives the reader an look inside the world of homeless people. It's not what we automatically assume. I think many in the middle and upper class SES are disgusted by homeless people. Did you ever think that we actually disgust them? And once you hear their reasoning, it actually makes sense and you got to respect them for that. It is neat to watch the perspectives change and the respect grow as these two men are challenged by the lives of one another. One thing you might learn, as I did, is that once we get the whole story, instead of filling in the gaps with our own small-minded ignorance, we tend to gain more compassion and understanding. I'll talk more about this when I discuss my 1 movie. All in all, I think everyone and their mother should read this book. But, the hardhearted should be aware of the risks......as this story of two men from two different worlds might penetrate into the very center of your soul.

Lastly.....the 1 movie. Now, before I begin, allow me to give a disclaimer. I usually do not promote rated R films. My wife and I watched this movie with a foul language filter, which I do recommend if you decide to watch this movie. However, little did I know that there was brief nude scene, which, as you might have guessed, a foul language filter doesn't....um....filter. But a clearplay DVD player would do the trick. Nonetheless, this movie, with it's all-star cast, had the single biggest impact on me when it comes race and the conflicts therein. The name of the movie is "Crash." Allow me to tell you about it. This movie is about the racial tension and persecution that exists between all ethnic groups. Racism isn't only between whites and all other minorities. The commonality of being a minority for many isn't good enough reason to co-exist in peace and harmony. No...there is tension between blacks and hispanics, hispanics and Asians, Asians and whites, and any other combination you could come up with. But what I like so much about this movie is that the first half of the movie villianizes the "racists" or "biggets" in the movie. In fact, the writer and director will have you almost hating some of them. But, the second half of the movie, will make your mind do a somersault. They give the rest of the story so to speak. You learn about the reasons these "racists" are the way they are. You are made aware of the painful events and circumstances that molded them into the pitiful souls that defines their existence. The challenging part is that our mind knows that there is nothing in their past that excuses their behavior. In other words, it doesn't matter what their reasons are, their belief-inspired actions were flat out wrong. And yet.....at the same time, you are filled with compassion and your heart breaks for them. For instance, there is a scene where this white cop pulls over a black man because he thinks he is with a white woman; but, it turns out she was black too, just not as dark as her husband. To make a long story short, the white cop (played by Matt Dillion) more or less sexually assaults this woman while frisking her. This causes a long line of problems in her marriage that I won't get into. But the story goes on and you get the cop's history and you understand he is hurting and taking his pain out on blacks, because they are the one's in close association with his pain, but they're not the one's fault (the system is at fault)......but, we gotta blame someone right? Well, later on, this lady has a wreck and she becomes pinned in her car which is aflame and about to blow. This racist cop is the first on the scene. Shockingly, he goes in after her....their fingertips are touching, but he just can't reach her. His colleagues reach in and pull him out in fear for his life. He fights to break free from his cop buddies and dives back in the car after her. You are sure they are both goners now. BUT HE DOES IT...he pulls her out and the car blows just seconds afterwards. Another cop rushes over and takes the woman from his arms. The cop drops to his knees on the pavement in exhaustion. And as the other cop carries the woman away in his arms, she looks back at him....back at this man that she hated for what he did to her the trouble he caused in her marriage. You see the confusion in her face as she slowly is carried away from him. "Why did this person that obviously has it in for my kind jump into fiery furnace to save me? Why did this man, who more or less molested me in front of my husband, risk his own life to save mine?" It just doesn't makes sense.....well, because she didn't have the rest of the story.

We often are afraid of the rest of the story. It might produce doubt or fear or confusion. We like things to make sense and getting the rest of the story might perturb our nicely crafted worldview. We don't like feeling compassionate for evildoers. We don't like having a battle between our heart and mind. We don't like feeling that vulnerable. Jesus wasn't afraid of being vulnerable. Jesus was compassionate toward evildoers. It was Jesus who said that "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick...'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mt. 9:12-13). This is a powerful message. And this movie really forces you to take a deep look at yourself. I know I did. And although I am sure I have some work to do in this area, I have become more patient and understanding toward those different than me. I actually find myself often defending them. Here are only a couple changes I've made that I am willing to share. First, I decided to appreciate and embrace Native American culture, since I do have roots there. I like to hear their stories and like keeping up-to-date with my tribe. I hope someday I can be more involved. Secondly, I have become more patient with non-English speaking minorities. I mainly encountered these wonderful people at the university I attended for graduate school. I used to think, "If you are going to come to my country, at least learn the language." Now, I remember that they are trying to get a good education to better themselves and their families' lives. And most are working very hard to learn the language as my wife and others from my church have gone and read English with them on many occasions. Plus, what does it say about our country's universities that other countries are sending their own to be educated in? They are human beings that deserve as much respect as me. Even more so, they are sinners, like me, that deserve to know Christ.

MAKE A CHANGE IN YOURSELF TODAY, IF YOU ARE WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK